The Art of Give & Take

In economics, we have the art of supply & demand; In life, we have the art of give & take.

Human relationship is an art. One needs wisdom, patience, understanding and acceptance, topped up with some disappointments to master the art. Often, when disappointments are pushed to the edge, it evolves into anger, rage, and possibly hate. I am a human after all. I can't keep givng and not expect some back in return. I have my own needs and cannot be caring for other people's needs and not get cared for. After all, we all need to be loved, don't we?

You quarelled with your mum and you needed someone to comfort you. I told you to come over despite my scheduled work at home. You wanted to shop a bit and I waited for you despite being anxious that I may not finish the work and even more worried that I may not have time for you after that. You were so tired that you fell asleep but I knew that you needed to talk. So I stopped my work, thinking I could finish my report while on the bus to work. We chatted till past midnight and I tried my best not to fall asleep despite being shattered by a full day of work. I needed to take public transport to finish the report but you wanted me to take the car to drop you off at a nearby place. I gave you all I had, but it wasn't enough for you. I needed to finish my work as it was important for me but you didn't care. I sacrificed my sleep, work but got you angry instead.

Sometimes I wonder is it me that you love or is it my love for you that you love? Isn't it in a relationship, there's give and take?

Do you love me?

Give Me Oil in My Lamp

I guess everyone needs to be loved once in a while. Wait! There's something wrong in this statement. The truth is: Everyone needs to be loved. While in this city setting, we yearn love yet afraid to love, for love hurts. Therefore, let's not love at all. I think that is why true friendship seldom blossoms. We package our hearts with beautiful wrappings and it starts to become icy steel. But deep down in our hearts, we still yearn for to be loved. But that yearning is often toned down and we try to substitute it by working hard, by being successful, we try to numb our senses with seemingly important stuff, trying to be important, trying to be part of the society. Only once in a while, the yearning for love is so great that we cannot suppress it anymore that we demand it from our loved ones. That is usually where we accuse them of not loving us enough. That is when your partner gets stunned by the sudden change of demand. It's not a sudden change, it's always there, just that we suppress it so well, we cheat even ourselves.

Yesterday was a lesson learnt why we need God to provide oil into my lamp. I was sick, and needed rest; work's pilling and so is the pressure; my manager just told me that she was not going to endorse my PR application; service at church is not going well. All I wanted was to either work hard thru the night or to rest well and kick start tomorrow with a bang. That wasn't what happened. Pris needed to talk and to be loved. My common sense tells me that's not a good idea but my love for her tells me that she deserves my attention. She talked and I listen, giving some suggestions and questions along the way. I had my silent prayers for her and for myself. I believe God is teaching both of us in His way. I prayed for God to sustain me at work the next day.

The reason why people are afraid to love is because love is sacrificial in nature. It will require effort, it will take time, and it WILL hurt you one day or another. Last night, I chose to love, to burn myself. But I was not alone. God will provide the oil for me. He is my protector. I will continue to learn to care, to love, to burn. I'd rather die than to never loved at all. Give me time dear, I'll be your good manager.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth"

Definition of Space

I think I have written an article on "Giving Space" a while ago. I can still remember I wrote that out of frustration.

As I walk my everyday, and as I meet more and more people, and get into deeper friendship with many of them, the meaning and understanding of "space" becomes more and more significant. I had a talk with Aunty Nan this morning on the way to work about this topic. I had to sit down and revise my understanding towards the meaning of "space" in a relationship. That's why I'm using this blog to re-organize my thoughts as I write:

What's the meaning of "giving space"?
My own definition of giving space is to let a person do as he feels comfortable, in his own way, at his own time, with him being left alone to do as he pleases without the slightest burden to care or bother about anything else. The time is left to enjoy entirely to that person.

Why does everyone need "space" and why it is important?
Every once in a while, in our busy busy schedules and stuff, we need some time off to quieten down, to rest, to reflect and to do some soul searching. I need these to feel alive and get a general direction of where I have gone to and where I should be heading. That's one. There's another reason to why we should all learn to give space to one another and that's called "respect". You respect other people's space (privacy) and the way they want their space (privacy). This is very important of you are living with your family or your spouse. It saves you a lot of trouble on this issue. Like it or not, we all like to be in control. We want things our own way. But living together needs a lot of understanding and giving way to one another.

So, learn to give space.

Macau Express Jusco Tebrau City Review

Macau Express is a restaurant selling portugese chicken and egg tarts. Here, I am to share with you my experience in this restaurant over the weekend.

As most good restaurants were fully packed even at 2.30pm, I chose Macau Express because it had the shortest queue and me and Pris were hungry. We ordered half a chicken, "Macau style" spaghetti and egg tarts. When they plated the over-cooked charred-chicken, my girlfriend commented that it's was charred, meaning, "Could we change for another one?" To our amazement, the girl behind the counter answered, "There are even more charred ones." What kind of service is that!? The aunty behind overhead our conversation and immediately changed it for us. We brought the chicken and sat seated ourselves, waiting for them to prepare the spaghetti.

As we were just too hungry, we started eating. The chicken, gravy, and everything else was cold. We were hungry, and we ate. After finishing the chicken... and the drinks, we were wondering if they forgot to serve us the spaghetti. So we asked one of passing waiters. None of them stopped to answer my queries! So I went up to the counter to check, and the same girl at the counter actually walked away without answering my question! Luckily, there was a very young waiter who went in to check and told me to wait for another 2 minutes. Even that wasn't worth the wait. It tasted horrible. I am not picky for food. But if I am paying RM30 for a meal, I think that I expected something better. Again I have to emphasize: I am not picky for food. That was one of the days I ate to fill my stomach.

To sum it all up, it's was a terrible experience. We had planned to go for a movie after the meal but ended up going straight home. It spoiled all our mood, and it cost more than RM30. Never again will I step in this restaurant: poor service, long wait, over-priced, horrible food, all in all horifying.

Hoarders in the House

The past few days have been both exciting and tiring. I have never moved house, and this is the 1st time I'm doing it. It feels really good by just thinking how the new house will look: The process of shaping the house, fitting in the furnitures, making it your own. There is just so much to do!

In the process, I get to know more about my family: We are serious hoarders! You can't believe the things that we keep. And more seriously, we can't seem to make a firm decision to throw things away, even if it can't be used anymore. As I walk around the new house, I keep seeing the things that I have thrown away. The leaking green water bottle, the antique tape recorder, even MY baby shoes!

We need a clearing class.