I Made My Dear Cry

Yesterday, while we were having a meeting on the Church activities, we encountered some problems. Two partnering groups had different views on the Child Care Service on Valentine's Day. We had to come up with a solution fast as time was running short.

As our team leader Steven wasn't there, I decided to take the lead. Our priority was to identify if the change can be done in such short notice. I had to gather our team members' views and decide on that. I was kind of swayed to the idea of doing it as Pris was on that side. I wanted to do it for her. And when I want to accomplish something, I am very focused. As I was getting in action plans, Pris kept giving in ideas, which I really didn't need. I needed action plans. I cut her off a few times. We didn't have time to discuss other issues, we needed to know how can it be done.

After the meeting, I was actually quite happy that we got things rolling, until disaster happened. I never expected Pris to cry... I was dumb folded. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what happened. Pris said that I never cut people off like how I did on her. She felt that I stomped her so low and she was very hurt. I never meant to hurt her. All I wanted was to make the Child Care Service a success, which was in the first place what I thought she wanted.

I guess both of us are so different in personalities. I am such a task-person, and she a people-person. We had a good talk that night. Thank God that she's willing to communicate, that's the best thing about her: no matter how angry, she's always willing to talk it out. We sorted things out, saw the differences we have. Relationship is not easy to handle. It takes a lot of understanding and forgiveness. I'm happy that Pris and me are willing to put in effort for this.

I love you.

Give Space

Everyone is unique. Each with their own characters, views and pace of doing things. Some are fast movers and some laid-back; some people-orientated and some task-orientated. There can never be two completely same people. You can never find another you in this world. So, someway or another, when two come together, there is bound to be clashes.

Therefore, this is where mutual acceptance comes into place. Accepting who you are, this is how you do things. I don't like how you do it, I will never do things this way, but also understanding that you are not me, I respect that. This is called mutual respect. This is very important in a relationship, whether family, friends, husband and wife, colleagues, etc. Accepting who one IS, and respecting him for who he is.

A lot of times, clashes happen solely because of nonacceptance. And these type of clashes usually are hard to solve. It can't be solved. Maybe for a short period of time, but it will always come back. This usually happens when one forces one's view unto the other, expects the other to understand or to take action, just as he would. This expectation often leads to disappointment when the other does not fulfill the expectation. And if you are this category, please prepare yourself to be disappointed and maybe angry. Because, remember, there can never be two completely same people.

Learn to accept, respect. Give space for the other to be himself, even if you don't understand.

Balance b/d for year 2007

I guess after resting for 8 months, I think it's good to recap what I have done for the past year.

Early 2007, I was handed Melacca together with Johor, which I was already in charge of. It was very challenging. Both because of geographical reasons and because no one was in charge of Melacca for a very long period of time. Johor is a very big state, Melacca didn't have an airport. Traveling around was crazy.

Then, the calling to quit came in May. The change was dramatic. Before, I was this executive who was buzzing from JB, BP, Muar, Segamat, Melacca, and KL. All work, seldom at home. After I quited, pace of life calmed down, and at some point, laid-back.

I went to learn diving. Been to Tioman and Redang, beautiful islands. Climbbed mount Kinabalu. Picked up guitar. Almost went to learn dancing (went to dance on stage for Jen's wedding, ha!). Went to China, lived with the village people. Went to enjoy the sceneries and FOOD of Taiwan. Had lots of rest. Had quiet time to read the Bible, and to walk with God. Chaired the Christmas event. Got myself a girlfriend.

Now, as I look back, God has been good to me. I've always believed that one must always have something to do, something to hope for and someone to love. By letting go of my job, which I struggled, it was going well and was something that proved my worth. By letting go of something seemingly so important to me but little to God, God has blessed me with all three things I have always wanted. There will always be something to do, but not always something to hope for and someone to love. And that hope comes from God and God alone. Hope comes from focusing on God, trusting he will do His part as long as I do mine.

Just a little shift in focus makes a whole lot of difference. Focusing on men will never satisfy, never brings peace, always disappointing. Focusing on God answers all doubts, brings contentment, gives peace.

Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Thoughts, Feelings, Ideas

I'm not a person who speaks very well. I find freedom in written words, like fish in the sea, swimming purposefully and freely. This is what this blog is about: a cumulation of everyday thoughts, feelings and ideas.

I went jogging today at Sultan's Garden. It was very, very HOT! And so I ran lazily, just letting my legs carry me, not really putting in much effort. It's more like walking very fast. After 1.5km, my ankles started to hurt. By not "running" properly using the thigh muscles, I put a lot of pressure on my ankles. It's didn't feel good. I spent the next 1km to walk the pain off.

Moral of the story: If you don't do things right, it will somehow come back to you. So, do things right, and if you can, the first time.