I'm going to write about something I learned from the 7 Habits book. It's about the emotion bank that we bank in and bank out from everybody around us. I have to say that I really need to learn this because I really know too little about human relationship, which is the essence of human living and enjoyment. I crave to know my family better, my friends, my co-workers, etc. And I crave that they understand me better. This read has and will be of great help in my future dealings with people.
1. Respect and accept an individual as they are.
This is really hard. I used to think that people "should" behave as they "should". Now, knowing that no two individuals are the same, think the same and feel the same, I have no right to impose what I think and feel to another individual. Now, I begin to observe people and learn to know them as who they really are. It will be very interesting to know some people again that I already know for so long :)
2. Communicate expectations between family, friends and co-workers.
This has always been a major cause for hurtful quarrels - You "should" do this and you "should" do that. In the end, we find out that what you expect from me is not what I expect you to expect from me. What a joke! And it feels that I have been wronged and misunderstood. Job descriptions and even relationship commitments must be clearly communicated to know exactly what to expect and be expected.
3. Fulfill commitments that we make.
Easier said than done. Many a time, it is so easy to make a casual commitment to get a quick fix...
4. Have integrity for everything that we do.
One can forgive a mistake in action because it is mostly due to a failure in judgment; It is harder to forgive a mistake in character that is ill-intentioned and possesses a bad motive.
5. Be aware of the small little things.
Small actions show big emotion fluctuations. For the noticing to start, pride has to go first. Because if we are full of ourselves, we don't see anything else anymore. Least to say the little reactions.
6. Sincerely apologize if I have made a mistake.
It takes a giant to be gentle; the weak shows only a strong front to cover their weaknesses.
So to conclude, I need to learn to be more observant. And to be more observant, I have to learn to shift the focus off myself to the people that I care about. To do that, I need to be humble. To learn humility, I need to built up my inner confidence. And to built up the confidence, I need to find my purpose in life to understand that I am a useful being. That purpose lies in God.
1. Respect and accept an individual as they are.
This is really hard. I used to think that people "should" behave as they "should". Now, knowing that no two individuals are the same, think the same and feel the same, I have no right to impose what I think and feel to another individual. Now, I begin to observe people and learn to know them as who they really are. It will be very interesting to know some people again that I already know for so long :)
2. Communicate expectations between family, friends and co-workers.
This has always been a major cause for hurtful quarrels - You "should" do this and you "should" do that. In the end, we find out that what you expect from me is not what I expect you to expect from me. What a joke! And it feels that I have been wronged and misunderstood. Job descriptions and even relationship commitments must be clearly communicated to know exactly what to expect and be expected.
3. Fulfill commitments that we make.
Easier said than done. Many a time, it is so easy to make a casual commitment to get a quick fix...
4. Have integrity for everything that we do.
One can forgive a mistake in action because it is mostly due to a failure in judgment; It is harder to forgive a mistake in character that is ill-intentioned and possesses a bad motive.
5. Be aware of the small little things.
Small actions show big emotion fluctuations. For the noticing to start, pride has to go first. Because if we are full of ourselves, we don't see anything else anymore. Least to say the little reactions.
6. Sincerely apologize if I have made a mistake.
It takes a giant to be gentle; the weak shows only a strong front to cover their weaknesses.
So to conclude, I need to learn to be more observant. And to be more observant, I have to learn to shift the focus off myself to the people that I care about. To do that, I need to be humble. To learn humility, I need to built up my inner confidence. And to built up the confidence, I need to find my purpose in life to understand that I am a useful being. That purpose lies in God.
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