My soul no longer wish to slumber.
Here is an account of what happened to me for the past few weeks.
After coming over to Singapore, my life scale tipped towards the work side. I couldn't handle anything else. God, family, friends, church, I gave it all up. To make things worse, I didn't enjoy the work as well. Therefore, I hid.
It's a very strange psychological thing, this hiding thing. I can give you some examples of what I mean by hiding. One thing I realized was, I didn't want to do anything. To avoid doing anything, I hid into the virtual world of games. I played PSP day in and day out, hiding in it. I slept a lot as well, refusing to wake up until I knew that I am going to be late for work. My mind hid as well. At work, my brain wanders. To recall, I felt that I have become stupid. The brain just refused to function. And I let the slumber in me take control.
I am guilty of a lot of things. I let wild grass grow in the relationship between me and Pris, I procrastinated the church finance being the treasurer, I wasn't doing my job, and I wasn't relating to God...
I thank God that He didn't give me up, He never does. He sent me messages. Through a song called "祷告", He brought me back to His presence. All I did was bring my troubles before Him and He did amazing things. Last Sat, I didn't go home to JB. I stayed for a talk on Israel, but that's not the point. The point is, me and Pris cracked that very night. It was an accumulation of unsettled incidents, and it exploded that night. God bless us for having Aunty Nan here with us. She had a long talk with Pris, and it was settled for the time being. The next day was a day of tears. At the Sunday worship at Lighthouse Church, for the first time in my life, I was crying from start till the end. The song "Arise, arise, arise" keep surrounding my ears. That was not it. We went back to the flat, with an even bigger explosion awaiting us. God made me and Pris bring out everything that we didn't like about each other, with Aunty Nan as our mediator. It was good. We understood each other more, taking in the angle of one another.
I have to give Aunty Nan tribute for helping us out. I realized in this incident that relationships have to be actively managed. No matter friends, family or God, it has to be managed actively. That's one. Two, after crying, we were tired and went for a nap. Aunty Nan, at 62 years of age, after counseling us for about three hours, washed our clothes, cleaned the house, and gathered some rest. I got to really realized that what she meant by telling me to change my mindset as I start my life in Singapore. It's not a matter of crossing the causeway to serve the Lord, she said. It's all in the mind. Pray and seek God for help, He is a sustaining God, even with only 4 hours of sleep, God will hold you. And boy, she did exactly what she taught me. Bring everything before God, and trust in Him. Trust that He can sustain, and He knows what's best for me.
These are lessons that I have learnt for life. One, pray often, for God longs to relate to me, and it takes effort to do it. Two, do not submit to slumber, for that is exactly what Satan wants me to do. Three, take control of my life, God let's us choose sides, although always with a guiding hand. Today, I choose to trust in the Lord. I believe that the potter knows best what instrument He wants the clay to be. My motivation no longer lie on money, fame, or self actualization, but on what God desires of me. I'll let Him take charge of my life, and believe in simple faith that whatever He puts me through, it will be good and possible to do, for all things are possible in the eyes of the Lord, and God will not put me through things that I cannot handle.
Amen.
Here is an account of what happened to me for the past few weeks.
After coming over to Singapore, my life scale tipped towards the work side. I couldn't handle anything else. God, family, friends, church, I gave it all up. To make things worse, I didn't enjoy the work as well. Therefore, I hid.
It's a very strange psychological thing, this hiding thing. I can give you some examples of what I mean by hiding. One thing I realized was, I didn't want to do anything. To avoid doing anything, I hid into the virtual world of games. I played PSP day in and day out, hiding in it. I slept a lot as well, refusing to wake up until I knew that I am going to be late for work. My mind hid as well. At work, my brain wanders. To recall, I felt that I have become stupid. The brain just refused to function. And I let the slumber in me take control.
I am guilty of a lot of things. I let wild grass grow in the relationship between me and Pris, I procrastinated the church finance being the treasurer, I wasn't doing my job, and I wasn't relating to God...
I thank God that He didn't give me up, He never does. He sent me messages. Through a song called "祷告", He brought me back to His presence. All I did was bring my troubles before Him and He did amazing things. Last Sat, I didn't go home to JB. I stayed for a talk on Israel, but that's not the point. The point is, me and Pris cracked that very night. It was an accumulation of unsettled incidents, and it exploded that night. God bless us for having Aunty Nan here with us. She had a long talk with Pris, and it was settled for the time being. The next day was a day of tears. At the Sunday worship at Lighthouse Church, for the first time in my life, I was crying from start till the end. The song "Arise, arise, arise" keep surrounding my ears. That was not it. We went back to the flat, with an even bigger explosion awaiting us. God made me and Pris bring out everything that we didn't like about each other, with Aunty Nan as our mediator. It was good. We understood each other more, taking in the angle of one another.
I have to give Aunty Nan tribute for helping us out. I realized in this incident that relationships have to be actively managed. No matter friends, family or God, it has to be managed actively. That's one. Two, after crying, we were tired and went for a nap. Aunty Nan, at 62 years of age, after counseling us for about three hours, washed our clothes, cleaned the house, and gathered some rest. I got to really realized that what she meant by telling me to change my mindset as I start my life in Singapore. It's not a matter of crossing the causeway to serve the Lord, she said. It's all in the mind. Pray and seek God for help, He is a sustaining God, even with only 4 hours of sleep, God will hold you. And boy, she did exactly what she taught me. Bring everything before God, and trust in Him. Trust that He can sustain, and He knows what's best for me.
These are lessons that I have learnt for life. One, pray often, for God longs to relate to me, and it takes effort to do it. Two, do not submit to slumber, for that is exactly what Satan wants me to do. Three, take control of my life, God let's us choose sides, although always with a guiding hand. Today, I choose to trust in the Lord. I believe that the potter knows best what instrument He wants the clay to be. My motivation no longer lie on money, fame, or self actualization, but on what God desires of me. I'll let Him take charge of my life, and believe in simple faith that whatever He puts me through, it will be good and possible to do, for all things are possible in the eyes of the Lord, and God will not put me through things that I cannot handle.
Amen.
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